The Hollywood Wax Museum

A while back the wife and I took our lives into our own hands, and went down to Hollywood boulevard to see Hollywood Wax Museum. It was amazing.... amazingly BAD!

The creatures that inhabit the museum look nothing like the people they are intended to represent. To be fair, in some instances they are pretty good, but most of the time they are awful.

I took several pictures, and ran across them today, so I thought I would share...

(Remember you can see larger versions of these pictures by clicking on them.)

You learn quickly to identify the figures more by the costumes they wear than by their facial characteristics. Mark Hamill looks more like Vince Vaughn. I think they recycle some of the figures, too. Look at the Princess Leia figure and tell me that isn't a young Joan Crawford. Harrison Ford's dummy looks pretty good, but I don't know why they needed two Yodas. I didn't understand why they included a crossover exhibit of The Phantom Menace, and E.T.. I guess it was because the place isn't very big, and they needed to squeeze two movies into one space. These are two of the better wax figures; Elvis and Hef. Notice the sun tans. For some reason most of the wax figures have this horrid fake tan. I suppose the proprietors think most tourists have this idea that everyone in Hollywood has a fantastic tan. Especially the stars. Whatever. That fake tan stuff makes Marilyn looks like she has aged about twenty years. Eddie Murphy didn't even seem to be himself that day. (I bet if I hadn't told you that was Eddie you never would have guessed it). This is our Govenor, Arnold Schwarzenegger. The democrats have been beating him up pretty good this election year. But, you can't kill a machine. The evolution of the governator. He started off as an ape, slowly adapted to civilization as a mechanical Fonzy, and finally the transformation into one of the Baldwin brothers is complete. I had heard the museum had fallen on hard times, but I didn't think it was so bad that they would resort to a natural science exhibit of a monkey in it's natural habitat. This is the "Sly Monkey" found only in the Hollywood Hills area, and sometimes in the jungles of Malibu. Mel Gibson out hunting Jews Gnus near his house in Malibu. Somewhat surprisingly, Mel shows up in public dressed like this alllllllll the time. As you know, Mel has a drinking problem, and that is the cause of all the nasty, or silly things Mel does. It's not because he's an ass, or anything like that. It's just the alcohol. Really. Our governor is not the first actor to hold the job. During the 1960s, this man also held the highest office in our state, and later that of the nation. Actually, just the face of this man held the office, that body was last seen in a window on Rodeo drive in Beverly Hills modeling the latest sports bra. As you can see, most of the wax figures look little like their intended subjects, but there was one that was spot on. The Amazing Spiderman! Finally we have what is supposed to be my favorite actress, Angelina Jolie, as Lara Croft in "Tomb Raider". She looks more like Sandra Bullock. That creature with Angie is supposed to be The Rock. Again, it looks like they recycled an old dummy's face, probably Jimmy Stewart in this case, gave it a new body, got a cheesy Scorpion King costume, and viola! New exhibit. Posted by Jeff at October 19, 2006 2:40 PM